I didn't grow up with faith, and the word God repulsed me. Life just was.

Until psilocybin as a teenager cracked something open. The trees breathing, the unity of everything, the great mystery suddenly laid before me like a playground. Many more psychonautic adventures ensued with a variety of substances that deepened this childlike awe and wonder.

But awareness and perspective alone weren't enough. I let the weight of this world press me back down, until the gap between who I was and who I was meant to be became unbearable.

At 25, I picked up a camera. The first thing I had found that allowed my soul to really sing. Six months through Southeast Asia learning to see. Two years at KOMO 4 News in Seattle, falling back into the machine.

Then the world shut down. I bought a Triumph Scrambler and rode through twelve states with my friend Nima — showing people that love was greater than fear, and that every breath was a gift. No jabs, no quarantine, and no masks necessary.

That ride moved me through Sedona. She called me back, and for 3 years I went deeper there than ever before. Meditation, stillness in nature, ceremony, documentary filmmaking, and a mirror that shook up my entire world, and sent me on a journey inward to find out who I truly was beneath all the stories.

This inner reclamation led me to my now wife. Six weeks after meeting, I married her on a cliff overlooking the Caribbean ocean in Puerto Viejo. I had reached a level of discernment, trust, and gnosis in myself where I no longer hesitated when God lit my path. Soon after, we made our way to the holy Isle of Iona in Scotland and did a handfasting in honor of our Gaelic lineages.

Roughly a year to the day, our son Arthur was born. And the whole axis of life shifted once again. Every moment now carried a new level of weight, responsibility, and potency. I knew this life was bigger than me, but this made it tangible. Arthur made it real.

I have moved through atheism, deep into the mysteries and hidden knowledge of esoteric teachings, plant medicine ceremonies, and ultimately into something that feels like it keeps getting closer to truth with every step. I keep pulling the thread of history, scripture, and the early ancient churches, and one name stands out immortalized through time. Christ.

My walk is now an imitation of His example. All praise be to God for this incredible journey. I'm still in it, and I believe that's the whole point.